mind over matter

Northwestern research always gives me a little thrill (I was an undergrad psych minor and sometimes recognize the names), and the latest study is interesting to boot. Background: High self-monitors are people who can accurately read a social situation and use that to interact with others. They’re generally well-liked and successful. So, for socially adept people, life is peachy, right?

Not entirely, according to this study brilliantly entitled “The Dark Side of Self-Monitoring: How High Self-Monitors View Their Romantic Relationships” (such a nice apocalyptic ring.) That’s right: high self-monitors are less committed to and less happy in their relationships than low self-monitors. Seems that high self-monitors are more tactful and cautious and therefore less open and honest with their significant others. It’s difficult for high self-monitors’ partners to read just how invested their significant other is in the relationship.

“It’s not that high self-monitors are intentionally deceptive or evil,” [lead researcher Dr. Michael] Roloff said. “They appear to have an outlook and way of achieving their goals that makes them attractive to us socially but that prevents them from being particularly happy or loyal in their romantic relationships.”

 Way to maintain the doom-and-gloom tone, man. I guess the message here is moderation: be candid with your partner, even when it’s uncomfortable, but save the brutal honesty for the Big Issues. This is a bit refreshing: urging the social superstars to make a change!